PRO-POSITIVE ROUSING SCHOOL SPIRIT ENJOYMENT TIME

SUPPORT THE FOOTBALL TEAM OR YOU'RE AN EVIL NAZI

At Chaska High School, attendance at Pep Fests is mandatory. This is not a new rule, but with another forced rouser being held on Friday, Sept. 30, we at the Hawk Lemon have decided, for old times' sake, to once again Laugh At The Ridiculous Rules. There's not that much to say that hasn't already been said about the idea of a school making a point to note that it forces its students to (at least) pretend they have school spirit. However, we did have the opportunity to interview local Nazi Hans Deutschlandüberalles. Here's what he had to say.

"I am in a bit of a bind, you see. As an antiquated fascist, I must say that this Pep Fest rule is in keeping with mein personal philosophy. However, as a Nazi, I also hate the football team. It is quite tough, you see?"

There is no word on whether Hans himself will attend the Pep Fest. Possibly complicating the situation is the fact that he is an unemployed 35-year-old who really has no business being at a high school.

UPDATE: We at the Hawk Lemon must now break from our cynical façades to stop and, in all seriousness, give massive props to the Chaska football team for their 10-7 victory over "#1" Eden Prairie. Way to go, guys. No one saw it coming. You've earned our respect.