Entire Homecoming Crowd Drunk, High

CAP's worst fears realized

Members of Chaska High School's Chemical Awareness Program were shocked to find that their warnings had gone unheeded when over 5,000 fans were arrested for public drunkenness and illegal possession of controlled substances at the Chaska Homecoming game Friday night.

Junior Anthony Revoir, a member of CAP, said, "I'm just speechless. All those posters we put up... nothing. The one night of the year we ask people not to drink or do drugs, and they do it anyway."

Revoir continued, saying, "I swear, it's like they were doing it just to spite us. Every single person in attendance was on some kind of mind-altering drug. Parents, kids, everyone. I couldn't believe it, but then, I was pretty buzzed myself."

The Chaska Police were forced to bring in hundreds of extra vehicles to transport the passed/spaced-out crowd to the county jail for the night. One officer described the scene at the game as "utterly absurd... unlike anything I've ever seen." He added, "If I hadn't been there, I'd think it was some kind of joke."