High School Drunkenness
Dead Horse Found "Surprisingly Beatable"
...just kidding.
The Hawk Lemon is a parody. Repeat, the Hawk Lemon is a parody. It is satire. If you're still confused, it's a joke. The Hawk Lemon and its staff take no legal responsibility for any actions undertaken as a result of its content. If you're offended, write a better paper. That said, The Hawk Lemon and all related materials are ©2005-2006 its staff, except where otherwise noted.
The Hawk Lemon asked: Do you think that the Hawk Lemon runs too many stories on high school drinking?
Last Thursday, in an exclusive interview with the Hawk Lemon, local hick Jed Cloquist, a senior, gave an extremely poor review of the Ford Motor Company and its products.
CAP's worst fears realized
In the wake of a recent slew of messages warning students not to drink and to be safe during homecoming week, the Hawk Lemon has asked: Will you be drinking at or after the Chaska High School Homecoming game?
Metaposts, for those who may not know, are posts that deal with the blog itself rather than, say, newsy-type articles.
The Hawk Lemon asked CHS students how they spent the last night of summer vacation. Here's how they responded:
Some students have claimed that the purple house was "not the best" use of school funds. What would you have chosen to spend the money on?
YOUR UNQUESTIONABLE, UNERRING FUTURE
AND IT'S PURPLE
SUPPORT THE FOOTBALL TEAM OR YOU'RE AN EVIL NAZI
FROM OUR WEATHERMAN TO YOU
A local student-produced newspaper has recently come under fire based on accusations of "stuffing" its pages with repetetive, vapid stories. After reading two stories relating to the exact same topic, many students feel "fed up" with the low quality of the content. A significant number of students have begun to search for an alternative news source.
A local student-produced newspaper has recently come under fire based on accusations of "stuffing" its pages with repetetive, vapid stories. After reading two stories relating to the exact same topic, many students feel "fed up" with the low quality of the content. A significant number of students have begun to search for an alternative news source.
PAPER SCOOPS COMPETITOR ON STORY ABOUT SELF, DONATES STORY TO COMPETITOR
Courtesy of the Hawk Herald
WE INVESTIGATE THE VALIDITY OF THIS CLAIM